It’s another dreary day. After days of this rainy, cloudy weather, my mood can head towards melancholy. Pregnancy hormones have my emotions all over the place. Today, after reading a Caring Bridge post about a young mother whose cancer seems to be winning it’s battle in her, I couldn’t help but cry. And wonder why? Why is it her, and her family that must go through this? Why a young mother? It doesn’t seem fair that I’m debating what to make for supper, while someone else is going through so much pain.
Right now I know of at least 3 people with cancer in advanced stages. And I wonder, what if it was me? What if it was someone in my family?
Life can be put into perspective so quickly when we think of how quickly life can change.
It made my mind wander as to how I will be remembered when I’m gone? Will others say I took time for them? Did I lend a listening ear? Did I have a servant heart? Could they see Jesus in me?
But it’s my family who I think of most. My husband and children. Will they say I was good to them? Or will they remember me as grouchy, complaining, and discontent?
I am one whose patience level needs a lot of work. Being pregnant lowers my tolerance level, unfortunately 😦 I’ve lost count of the times I’ve lost my temper lately. Bedtime is especially trying. Everyone is tired, but the children seem to get a second wind, and it always feels like a 3 ring circus. Last night I lost my patience with one of them, and spoke very impatiently and unkindly, and caused the tears to come. As I look back at that moment, I think why couldn’t I have been more loving? I do not want my children to remember me losing my cool, and lashing out at them with my words. Each and every moment with them is a memory in the making. Am I making those memories good?
It’s funny the things you remember from childhood. Snippets here and there. A smell, a tone of voice, the way someone spoke to you. I pray that when my children get older, and look back, that the good memories are more than any bad ones they may have.
I’ll close with some pictures. Little tidbits of everyday life that we are blessed to have.
Keep the faith, friends! And make good memories along the way.