Memories

It’s another dreary day. After days of this rainy, cloudy weather, my mood can head towards melancholy. Pregnancy hormones have my emotions all over the place. Today, after reading a Caring Bridge post about a young mother whose cancer seems to be winning it’s battle in her, I couldn’t help but cry.Β And wonder why? Why is it her, and her family that must go through this? Why a young mother? It doesn’t seem fair that I’m debating what to make for supper, while someone else is going through so much pain.

Right now I know of at least 3 people with cancer in advanced stages. And I wonder, what if it was me? What if it was someone in my family?

Life can be put into perspective so quickly when we think of how quickly life can change.

It made my mind wander as to howΒ  I willΒ be remembered when I’m gone? Will others say I took time for them? Did I lend a listening ear? Did I have a servant heart? Could they see Jesus in me?

But it’s my family who I think of most. My husband and children. Will they say I was good to them? Or will they remember me as grouchy, complaining, and discontent?

I am one whose patience level needs a lot of work. Being pregnant lowers my tolerance level, unfortunately 😦 I’ve lost count of the times I’ve lost my temper lately. Bedtime is especially trying. Everyone is tired, but the children seem to get a second wind, and it always feels like a 3 ring circus. Last night I lost my patience with one of them, and spoke very impatiently and unkindly, and caused the tears to come. As I look back at that moment, I think why couldn’t I have been more loving? I do not want my children to remember me losing my cool, and lashing out at them with my words. Each and every moment with them is a memory in the making. Am I making those memories good?

It’s funny the things you remember from childhood. Snippets here and there. A smell, a tone of voice, the way someone spoke to you. I pray that when my children get older, and look back, thatΒ the good memories are more than any bad ones they may have.

I’ll close with some pictures. Little tidbits of everyday life that we are blessed to have.

Our dog can sit so hilarious :)

Our dog can sit so hilarious πŸ™‚

Our gentle pony..

Our gentle pony..

IMG_5816 IMG_5832IMG_5829Sisters ❀

I love seeing baby ducks around again!

I love seeing baby ducks around again!

IMG_5809Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” NIV

Keep the faith, friends! And make good memories along the way.

4 thoughts on “Memories

  1. All these questions and so many more roll through my head all the time, especially the last while. So many why’s and ‘what if it were me.’ After my brother died, people talked about so many good things they remembered about him and I often wondered if there would have been even half those things to say about me, especially from my children. :/ When something happens to change my perspective, I step back and wonder how I got so far off course, but before I know it, I’m back in my same old rut again. I think we have a lot in common, at least by the sound of this post. You are not alone in the low patience levels. (I’m scared to pray for more patience because what will He use to teach me?) πŸ™‚

  2. Thanks so much, Shannon! I know your family had to walk a hard road with your brother’s death. We’ll just need to keep trying to improve our patience levels πŸ™‚ Blessings to you as you mother your sweet kiddos!

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