#TheStruggleIsReal

Yes, it’s been very real today. You know it’s real every day, at least it is for me, but some days it’s really real, if you know what I’m saying πŸ™‚

It was a dreary day here, but I didn’t mind. And when Dale volunteered to take the children to school this morning, I was grateful.Β A bit of alone time.Β Yes, sir πŸ™‚ But I did know there would be guys in my kitchenΒ fixing my backsplash. That’s fine. We have other rooms in the house to drink coffee in πŸ™‚

Jenna and I did a grocery run, which went ok. Besides the bill, but I’m rarelyΒ ok with that πŸ™‚

The afternoon went downhill. Not in a horrible, tragic way. More like a slow, continuous battle. Today was vision therapy day for my son. We drove through rain, but got there in time. So that was nice. Also, a confession after my rant about running red lights. I think I hit about 10 yellow lights today πŸ™‚ I went through some easily. Stopped for others. And I kind of went through one that turned red on me. Shame on me! I felt immediate guilt, because of all that I said about this. I really think God tests me when I say things πŸ™‚

Anyway, that all went well, and then came home, threw some hotdogs and kraut in the crock pot because I’m nutritious like that. And I wasn’t going to cook with the tile guys in my kitchen. Don’t judge πŸ™‚

Then milking time. Maybe I should correct myself, and say that’s where the struggle started πŸ™‚ The weather turned muggy and humid, and our barn was a sticky mess. It affected me. And the cows. And the children. And the husband. You get my drift. Really though, the cows seemed uptight, hitting me in the face with their tail, kicking off milkers, chewing on them. And then the boys decided to race their bikes around, yelling loudly, till mom lost it, and hollered. Shame on me again.

Time for supper. Realized the hotdogs were on low 😦 Turned up the crock pot. One child is losing it that he made a mistake on his homework, call the teacher NOw, Mom, call her NOW. The other child ran around throwing folded wash on the floor. Another trying to tell me something, and yelling that she can’t talk because ev.ery.one interrupts her. One comes in stripped down to his skivvies, fussing that his brother threw sawdust on him, and he’s so itchy, and his sister is lecturing him on immodesty. Aand the mom yelled,”What next???!!”Β Β And started dishing out advice, and thank goodness the hubby is coming in the door!

And then more homework, and bathtime, and bedtime. I told them I couldn’t wait to put them to bed. That probably wasn’t the nicest thing to say. I really felt like that though. I wonder if I’m cut out for this job of mothering sometimes. My post last week about life, and how quickly it can be gone, should make me think. And it does. But then why do I mess up over and over again? I can picture God sighing about me some days.

Like I said, not a terribly, horrible no good very bad day. Just a day that felt like I didn’t cope well with my attitude andΒ my children.

I feel a bit silly now that I wrote out my feelings πŸ™‚ But I also feel better. And in about 5 minutes, I’ll be feeling better yet. Because I will be eating an apple dumpling from my sweet mother. And it will be very yummy πŸ™‚ Don’t judge πŸ™‚

Feel free to share your struggles in the comments. I admit to sometimes feeling like I bore you over my life, and have little interaction with you πŸ™‚Β My stats show that someone is reading this blog. Maybe not many, but still some πŸ™‚ AndΒ I love reading comments, so please share if you find time πŸ™‚

Now… about that apple dumpling;)

10 thoughts on “#TheStruggleIsReal

  1. Oh, bless your dear heart! It all sounds very familiar. YES, you are very much cut out for your job of mothering. God never places you someplace He doesn’t want you to be….check out my latest post, if you’re interested…I talk about this sort of thing. You are doing a GREAT job, and don’t ever forget it. Satan is a liar, and he only wants you to focus on your “bad” moments. God knows the truth. He remembers our frame, that we are dust, that we have feelings, that we have limits, that we are human. He made us that way, and He loves us just as we are. πŸ™‚ Our children need to know that we are human, that we mess up sometimes, that we have to go back and say we’re sorry…they need to learn how to forgive, and the only way they can do that is for the need to arise for them to do so. Thank you for sharing your life here…your heart…thank you for being transparent and not pretending to be something other than your sweet self. Remember I Corinthians 15:58. God’s Word is true…one day, all of this will be worth it.

  2. Melinda says:

    Hi Jolene, I always enjoy an email saying you posted a new post. I’m glad our house isn’t the only one that resembles a circus some days πŸ˜‰ sometimes I feel like the one who needs to chill out the most when the day turns chaotic is the mommaπŸ™‰( meaning me, not you!!) when I take the time to take a step back and ask God for help with my attitude, it always makes a difference. But, so soon I’m asking again. And again. I’m thankful God has a never ending supply of grace!

  3. janelle says:

    (Hugs) dear friend:-) we all have our days:-) why is it so hard to be kind and patient, when I think of families that have lost a child, how that would rip your world apart……we were just away for a couple of days, and I couldn’t believe how quickly the things u miss so much when your gone become frustrating when you are only home a few days! Love you, keep looking up:-)

  4. Oh, the struggle is realer than real. I’ve had quite the week here myself, and can identify with so many of your thoughts. You are not the only one who ever wondered if you might not be cut out for mothering. I have no answers, but let’s just share a laugh over immodest underwear-wearers and nutritious hot dog dinners. Let’s remember to say “I’m sorry” to our kids, and say “I love you” twice as much.

  5. Janell Weiler says:

    I read this and said to my husband as we sat here at the table together that this is so me some days !! This week has been busy with farm work and I had gone away 2 days !! I looked at the house and wanted to scream but kept reminding myself to keep calm and let God !:) it was a good article for me to read and know that I’m not alone in my struggles and there is plenty of other mothers out there that have the same struggles !! Thanx for writing and God bless !!:)

    • Thanks for sharing, Janelle! It always encourages me to know I’m not alone in this πŸ™‚ I let my frustration out way more than I should 😦 Thank God for grace!

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