This topic has been on my mind. I tossed it around, do I really put these thoughts out there? The Sunday School lesson really hammered it home some more. So I decided to share. I hope you don’t read this post, and think of what an awful person I am. Just read it with the awareness that we are all sinners, we all need God’s grace and forgiveness, and that satan will always be working at tripping us up.
I’m talking about that word comparison. It’s some thing I know we all do at one time or another. I think we as women are especially bad. Maybe some of us more than others. Why do we compare ourselves with others? Are we trying to make ourselves feel better? Or are we belittling how God made us, in His image?
I will not lie, I need to work on this daily. We can all walk around looking like good Christian women, but what is going on in our thoughts? For myself, I compare both ways. I compare myself against those that look like they have it all, and then those that just don’t seem to have it together.
Some things I thought of that I think about.
” I wish I was creative like her.”
“She gets so many things, and her home is perfect.”
“I wish I was thin like her, without all this extra padding.” Or, “She could stand to lose a few pounds. I don’t feel so bad about myself when I see her.”
“She has it all together all the time. Her hair is never messy, her children are always well dressed with hair combed neatly, and I’m sure her house isn’t messy either.” Or, “She looks a bit sloppy. I guess she just doesn’t worry about messy hair, rumpled clothes, and a clean house.”
“She thinks she is tired. What would she do if she was up how many times a night with the baby, and then have to milk cows in the morning. She’d find out what tired is!” Or, “She helps in the barn, drives tractor, feeds 8 children, has a lovely garden,neat flower beds, cans everything, and still finds time to help others. Why can’t I be more like that? She is such a hard worker.”
“I wish I was nice, quiet, and meek like her. She probably never argues with her husband. She is such a good wife.” Or, “She sure orders her husband around. I definitely treat my husband a lot better than she does.”
“I’m pretty sure she never raises her voice to her children. Why can’t I just control my temper??” Or, “She sure loses control with those little ones. Those children could use some more discipline.”
And the list could go on. And if you thought I was nice, you probably no longer do 🙂 Please remember, it is when I think these things, that I am doing what satan wants each of us to do. Compare ourselves, be discouraged, discontent, etc.
Whether we are comparing to make ourselves feel better, or comparing because we feel small and inadequate, it is wrong. It will rob us of the joy we should have in Christ.
If this is something you don’t struggle with, I applaud you! Many times over, I applaud you! I’m pretty sure it’s something I will always battle with, but it’s also an area I want to really try to do better at.
One thing that I need to remind myself is that God made us, each of us, unique in our own way. And He doesn’t make mistakes. Ever.
Another thing is that He calls us to rejoice with those that are rejoicing, and weep with them that weep. So I need to be happy for someone, when it looks like their life is perfect. I need to help and encourage someone that is struggling, in whatever way that may be. And I think if we truly have the love of Christ in us, it will be easy to do. If my heart is in the right place, I will want to do those things.
James 3:10 says, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” NIV
I hope and pray that each one of you can conquer this sin when it comes up. And that we can all love each other with a Christlike love.
And I hope you come back to read this little blog again after this post. Probably you all are much kinder, nicer women than I 🙂 And I just compared myself again. Looks like my work is cut out for me!! 🙂
I appreciate how you are so honest and write out your feelings, being aware of these kinds of struggles is good!
I find myself comparing my daughter with others children her age, esp since she was diognosed with hypotonia(low muscle tone)she obviously will not keep up with others her age & that’s ok, in Gods eyes she is perfect, wether she is never able to crawl, walk or talk, that does not define her as a child of God! How comforting ! But admitted I still battle with comparing at times and like u said such a thief of JOY! Bless you as u strive to just bloom where u are planted!
Thank you so much, Jen! Love that you have such a positive outlook! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! It truly blesses me! 🙂
Love your honesty! I do this way too much, and needed this reminder. It’s way too easy to let comparison rule our hearts, sometimes without even realizing it. Thanks for sharing!! P.s. I don’t think any less of you, glad to hear you’re human too! I always did like when people are open with the good & bad! 🙂
Kendra, thanks so much for your loving heart! I certainly love hearing from my readers! 🙂
Good to see you’re human! 🙂 Why do we do it? That verse is a good reminder that we have a choice to make every time we speak.
Thanks for the love, Cheryl 🙂 I have the sweetest readers, I’m sure 🙂
I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t struggle with this same issue at some point or another. It’s sad that we do it though, isn’t it?! Hope you have a great day! 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Jenny! You have blessed me today! 🙂
Thanks for your honesty.I find myself thinking the same things you mentioned and it’s not right of me.Discouragement is a powerful tool satan uses but his power is nothing compared to the power our God has! Love you girl☺️
Kendra, I am beyond blessed to have you for a friend! You deserve an award for that 😉 Right back at you with the love!!
Good thoughts. We can never hear this too often because with women, it’s a constant battle.
Thank you, Shannon! I feel so encouraged by all you lovely ladies sharing your thoughts! 🙂
Oh yes, I’ve thought all that and more. If it helps, I’ve even wondered how you stay so slender! Truly! I gain a pound just reading a recipe. Comparison is something I struggle with a lot, and unlike many other things, it has gotten worse with age. One thing that helps me is thinking of one unique thing I have that no one else is blessed with, and when the thoughts of comparison pop up I quickly refer to my special blessing in my head. It often puts out the fire lit by the enemy.
Thanks for your honesty! Talking about the hard stuff can be an encouragement to the rest of us in the club.
You are too sweet, Monica! And if you want to know, I love your sense of humor and you always make me smile 🙂
I totally enjoy reading your blog and seeing your pics:) I shall keep coming back 🙂 I struggle with comparing too. Others can do ect ect better than me… 😦 and I happen to think you are a thm 🙂 can make that say trim healthy momma or like I saw somewhere could stand for totally hot momma;) lol seriously, though, it’s a very real struggle to be content and bloom were we are planted. God bless you for your honesty:)
You are somethin’ else, Mindy 😉 I just laughed reading this! 🙂 Thanks for your sweet words!!
Oh, bless you, Jolene! I so appreciate your honesty and transparency…those things just make me want to come back here even more. No one enjoys reading the writing of someone who seems to be “perfect” in every sense of the word and who seems to have every, single thing together. That would make me run in the opposite direction, LOL!! Because I am so flawed, and I fall so short of Gods glory. One day, we will all be home together in Heaven, Lord willing, and all of the struggles of this life will be forgotten. Thank you for being so humble and REAL. I appreciate you for being just the person you are…you don’t ever need to change, in my opinion! You are a wonderful mother, and you are doing exactly what God wants you to do. May He bless you and encourage your dear heart! 🙂
I have been so blessed by all the comments you leave for me, Cheryl! You just really encourage me 🙂
Great post….I think we all struggle with those negative thoughts of comparing. I find the only thing that helps me is to shift my focus on Jesus, Scripture, and hymns/praise songs. It never fails to get me thinking correctly…until the next time!! 🙂
Thanks so much for your input, Shanda! Love your thoughts on focusing on scripture and songs!