What might have been

Written March 19, 2015

Today was a long day. I’m weary. Today was Dale’s birthday. Today could have ended much differently than it did.

As I sat at the kitchen island, eating a piece of chocolate cake, my mind went to what happened earlier this evening. To what could have been. To what I see as a miracle.

We are leaving for the cabin this weekend, and tonight was my turn to have off from milking, so Kirsten was out watching Jenna and her 2 little cousins. ( We live beside and farm together with Dale’s sister and her husband.) She was loading trash onto the gator, and the little ones were wanting to sit on it, of course. She made the mistake of sitting Jenna on the seat, while it was still running and in reverse.

I was upstairs trying to get some packing done, when I heard the rev of the gator engine. At first I thought it was a certain boy, but when it didn’t leave up, I ran. And as I ran, I remember crying out to God. Because I knew it was Jenna. I remember hearing the crash. And I ran to the front door, yanking on it, scared to see what I might have to see. And the door wouldn’t open. I must have pulled on it 3 times trying to open it. I don’t even think it registered to me that my counter top was pushed front, blocking my way. And then Kirsten said “Everyone is ok!” I ran back into the living room and out that door. The children were crying. And all I could do was grab my baby and hold her tight.

Our house had a hole in the front wall.20150322_172350 We had just redone it this past fall. I didn’t even care. My mind could hardly grasp how no one was injured. Both children on the gator are 3 yrs. old. Only a miracle.

And when everyone was calmer, and I walked back into the house, this is what I saw. Sink piping pulled apart, cracked cupboards, a bent stove with a shattered top, counter tops pushed front.20150319_180049 20150319_180103 20150319_180514 20150319_222128 It was unbelievable. And my mind replayed it, “What if, what if??) God spared their little lives from injury, or perhaps even death. I have no idea how fast that gator was going, but it had speed. Shane (Randy and Diana’s son) was on the passenger seat. Another thing, they had a step they bounced up over before hitting the house, so that would have slowed them down a bit. If the gator had not been in reverse, it would have been so much more serious.

I cannot write this without crying. I am so humbled, and beyond grateful, that they are ok. I am convinced of the power of God. Reminded again that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow.

Yes, it is going to cost us quite a bit to fix the damage. Kirsten felt so badly. And I told her it doesn’t matter. Because it truly doesn’t. Our material things can be replaced and fixed. Lives cannot.

Like I said, the above was written the night this happened. I tweaked it a bit now, simply because I was so tired when I wrote it, some things sounded wrong. I just felt a need to pour my thoughts out that evening. My form of therapy.

I have contemplated this incident so, so many times this week. And wondered why do these things happen? Why were we sparedΒ  heartache while so many others weren’t. If you read my blog, you know I talked a bit about Kara Tippetts. March 22, she lost her battle with cancer. A young mother, with 4 children, and a loving husband. Why?

In my previous posts on Haiti, I posted pictures of a set of twins, whom we got to visit and hold. My sister Sherita emailed this week saying the little boy, sweet Michael, passed away, most likely from pneumonia complications. I felt so sad! His poor mother is in a hospital, battling tuberculosis. A family with so little. Why?

Sometimes this old world just doesn’t seem fair! Like it takes us, spins us, and leaves us hanging. But we don’t live in a perfect world. And we will experience sorrows and trials. And while we don’t understand everything, God sees and knows the bigger picture. He cares for each of us, no matter what we may be facing!

So I guess I just want to encourage you to cherish each moment, hug your children tight, tell your family you love them, make the most of this life you’ve been given. We can’t go back and redo yesterday. We have today.

On a brighter note, despite all the sad news of this week, I was so blessed. When you don’t have a working oven, you feel a bit handicapped πŸ™‚ My Mom brought us a meal one night, and another night my sister and her husband blessed us with pizza and salad. I discovered just how much extra time I have when I don’t have to cook πŸ™‚ I do have a new stove now, so we are back in business, even though it doesn’t fit in the “slot” till my kitchen gets fixed πŸ™‚ And Dale bought a flexible pipe to temporarily hook up my sink, for which I am very thankful!

I hope you have a good weekend, enjoying good times with family and friends! Thanks so much for visiting, friends!

*Please keep the Tippetts family, and little Michael’s family in your prayers. Also please remember my sister Sherita and her family, as they relate to this family during this sad time. I know they were quite attached to these little twins.

10 thoughts on “What might have been

  1. Oh, dear, precious Lord! I am just bawling. I was SO afraid to keep reading when I saw where your post was going. I cannot even imagine, as you said, “what might have been”. Oh, the Lord was SO merciful! As I saw that everyone was okay, then my heart went out SO much to poor, dear Kirsten. She will never forgot those moments, and I just trust the dear Lord will comfort her and not allow this to affect her too deeply. She must relive those moments over and over and over again. I trust our dear Lord will apply the healing balm of Gilead to her troubled heart and just help her to see that it is not her fault. Things like this just happen. We ALL have moments that we wish a thousand times we could rewind back to the moment before and make a different choice, and we just have to leave those moments in the hands of the dear Lord and press on, thanking Him for having mercy. I am so touched by this post….and to think about that poor, little twin baby! He is safe in the arms of Jesus, but oh, the pain of that dear mother’s heart! Dear Lord, have mercy on all who are grieving, and help us to make the most of every moment we are given! Wish I could just reach out and give you a hug, Jolene. God bless you and your dear family and ALWAYS keep all of you safe in His care. Much love to you. πŸ™‚

  2. Oh my, I can’t imagine how shaken you felt. So glad everyone is ok. Isn’t it amazing how material things don’t even matter when something like this happens. Squeeze her close.

    I had been following Kara Tippetts also and read her book. She had an beautiful testimony.

  3. When I look at the pictures of the damage, I find it hard to believe that no one was hurt. Either your house walls are fragile or that gator was moving. Do you think maybe two guardian angels were involved in this story?

    Rejoicing in a happy (albeit expensive) ending,
    Stephanie

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